I'm lost

Goodie Morning :|



Yea, I've woke up but seriously Imma damn not in the mood. Probably, there is something in my heart that makes me a bit particular. Nearly to the feel of emotional again. Arghh... Guess what? The 1st time in my life, which I ever wake up earlier than my alarm. And thus, I only get 5 hrs of sleep from this morning 4am+. Well, it was also the 1st time in my life that I couldn't actually fully fell asleep in those 5hrs (**sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up). While, thought of going to start my low paying but long hrs of wushu classes, will cause me to commit suicide every moment as it comes to my mind. God damn!! I feel so cold in a sunny morning with a temperature of 35 degree Celsius outside. Switching of the fan besides me, thought of putting on jacket some more.

I can't stand for those words that I received online. I don't wish to make it too obvious or else I might feel even worse. Posting a shout out here would be just fined to do so. Well, I manage to figure out what exactly causing these feelings within myself. Yea, It pops out of my mind>> I'm jealous of someone. Why was there such a luckily guy who eventually gets the appreciations back from what he did to the girl, and causing the girl to fall for him? YES!! It's a "WAS", a past tense. I'm freaking damn annoyed that I failed to stand this history. I know it makes no difference either I know it or not. It's already a fact and a history ever since I know her, I was fined when I know nothing in the beginning. Why can't I just always feel the same? I hate myself. I'm always a forgiving person, but I guess everybody might finds it hard to avoid for being "xiao qi" in such situations. Because I really found myself falling for her so badly now.

I'm must throw this childish thing away. I'm not xiao qi... I don't wanna be Xiao qi... >.< Yes, it always and forever will be applied to my beloved one. If and only I can do to tell her how much I love her now, by then all these might not be that important anymore.

Oh well, I do desired to have an ideal girl friend.
I'm picky, but I'm always available. ^^
If You found Yourself received a flower from me,
You might be in my candidate list.
Oh ya, so far I only did it once ever since I was born.

Alright, I feel a bit better now after been releasing what excavating my heart for the whole night^^ Hope nobody would see this though I tend to make it a public post. Arh... look at the time below, I'm almost late for my wushu classes. Give me some confidences ya ;)