I Might Have Thought Too Much, It's Because I Cared

August 04, Saturday...



Sometimes, I feel like I'm always such a coward when it comes to a certain situations. Like one of my female friends points at me:



"Kyuo, you told me you like that girl... But you dare not to tell her. Then how is she gonna know what you think? Don't expect her to approach to you on herself, good girl would never do that."



I know that, but I just I can't figure out what she thinks of me. Perhaps I'm still waiting for the right timing to confess. I know I have a lot more to do with this, and if the result is a positive one, I will definitely take my eyes away from what and how much I have to do... because, I know I can surely sacrifice and dedicate for her, just for her...



But I can tell seriously, my heart was beating in my chest up and down when I see her tweet on twitter. And even felt my heart like almost jumping out from my body when she tells me it's a confession. >.<... Anxiously, I called her at that moment immediately, but she never pick up the nearly 10 missed calls. I thought something was gonna up that she purposely not picking my calls and I don't want that to happen by kept saying sorry... Aiks, I'm so paiseh >.<... I reached to her from mobile msn later. It was actually I thought too much; her phone was on her bed in silent mode... Sorry for being so Geh Bo, I know it's none of m business but I just couldn't stand without knowing it, 'cause you know what I'm thinking. Unlike you, I do care...


Ishhh, I know and also afraid that I'm sometimes annoying. I hate this and that's why I always wanted to prevent myself from bothering and asking too much. I don't wanna be the one who who over checking on others. I don't wanna be selfish, she should have her own personal space and things, even the same for most couples... I don't wanna be narrow-minded, I don't wanna be jealous... but, what to do?


A guy will get jealous, so do I... 'cause I am a guy. Don't get me wrong, I don't think most of the guys willing to be jealous without reasons... I don't know and don't care 'bout what are theirs, but in myself, I jealous because she's still not in a relationship with me yet. Yes... I can change myself, for not being as narrow-minded and jealous as previously. I learned to accept and correct these issues of mine, because I know she wouldn't like a guy with these issues... and on the other hand, I came to realize that I actually know how to control myself the most for these in a relationship. By then, never will I have to bear with these issues anymore, I'm sure...


>>Because I understand if a girl willing to be with you, which means she trusts you and hands herself over to you, expecting you to take care of her. So... what else do you still expect when a girl can do this? Tell yourself to stop all the jealous and narrow-minded beliefs while stop checking on her from time to time, for the sake of telling her that you love her whole heartedly... YOU MUST TRUST LIKE HOW SHE TRUSTS YOU FOR YOUR CARE, which is what I always tell myself frequently now... I swear..



Trust me and give me a chance to prove it to you and also to myself k? :)



The Xiao Qi Gui :)